If it wasn't for the song... I would have forgotten
Friday, 29 August 2014
Antidote For The Walking Dead
(Original item was removed... just trying to be responsible)
Psalm 2 King James Version (KJV)
Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thingThe kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against his anointed, saying,
Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.
He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.
Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.
I will declare the decree: the Lord hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.
Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.
Psalm 2 King James Version (KJV)
Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thingThe kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against his anointed, saying,
Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.
He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.
Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.
I will declare the decree: the Lord hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.
Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.
Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.
Friday, 22 August 2014
FrICTION
Coming Soon...
VATICAN 3
starring
Sylvester Stallone as Pope Francis
&
Johnny Depp as Reverend Gianfranco Ghirlanda
Sylvester Stallone as Pope Francis
&
Johnny Depp as Reverend Gianfranco Ghirlanda
(hopefully straight to DVD)
Monday, 18 August 2014
Friday, 15 August 2014
To The End
At the 1968 Mexico Olympics Marathon event, one of the runners, John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzania, finds himself trapped in the middle of some other runners several miles into the race. Unable to see well, he falls and hurts his leg horribly. He watches, anguished, as the other racers continue. John Stephen Akhwari will not win the marathon on this day. He has trained for years to come to Mexico City only to fail, 19km into the race…or has he?
The 42km race was won by Mamo Wolde, an Ethiopian.
Over an hour has passes by, it's getting dark, the last of the crowd are leaving the stadium. Suddenly, the stadium gate is opened up, to the sounds of police sirens. Then a lone runner stumbles into the stadium, for his last lap. It is John Stephen Akhwari.
He hobbles, painfully on his bandaged leg, in great pain with every step. He knew 3hrs before he could not win the race, but he continued all the same. Finally, after 3hours and 25 minutes, he crosses the finish line and collapses.
"Why", someone asked him, "didn't you stop after injuring yourself?" After all, there was no way he could win the race. John's response was "My country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race, they sent me to FINISH THE RACE."
Perseverance is a powerful weapon. With God's strength... you can!
2 Timothy 4:7
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Revelation 2:10
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life."
The 42km race was won by Mamo Wolde, an Ethiopian.
Over an hour has passes by, it's getting dark, the last of the crowd are leaving the stadium. Suddenly, the stadium gate is opened up, to the sounds of police sirens. Then a lone runner stumbles into the stadium, for his last lap. It is John Stephen Akhwari.
He hobbles, painfully on his bandaged leg, in great pain with every step. He knew 3hrs before he could not win the race, but he continued all the same. Finally, after 3hours and 25 minutes, he crosses the finish line and collapses."Why", someone asked him, "didn't you stop after injuring yourself?" After all, there was no way he could win the race. John's response was "My country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race, they sent me to FINISH THE RACE."
Perseverance is a powerful weapon. With God's strength... you can!
2 Timothy 4:7
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."
Revelation 2:10
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life."
Tuesday, 12 August 2014
Mercy...
For the families who've fled to Mount Sinjar, Iraq:
“…for the dark places of the earth are full of the haunts of cruelty.
Oh, do not let the oppressed return ashamed!
Let the poor and needy praise Your name.
Arise, O God, plead Your own cause…”
(Psalm 74:20-22)
“…for the dark places of the earth are full of the haunts of cruelty.
Oh, do not let the oppressed return ashamed!
Let the poor and needy praise Your name.
Arise, O God, plead Your own cause…”
(Psalm 74:20-22)
Sunday, 10 August 2014
Thursday, 7 August 2014
Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes
When "wolves in sheep's clothing" smile in your direction,
do not take it as a compliment!
do not take it as a compliment!
Wednesday, 6 August 2014
Thursday, 24 July 2014
Wednesday, 23 July 2014
Thinking Inside The Box
Are you "Going Around the Bend" or are you now "Turning a Corner" - the choice is yours...
(It's an electric oven, by the way)
Having a Señor Moment
A U.F.O. was spotted on the Mexican/U.S.A. Border today...
...closer examination revealed it was a family from Guadalajara trying to get into the USA, underneath a massive sombrero.
...closer examination revealed it was a family from Guadalajara trying to get into the USA, underneath a massive sombrero.
A Million Paths, That Are Never Going To Happen
The fearful person said: "Sorry, can't stop to talk to you... I've got to go, I'm late for a rehearsal in my head"
Tuesday, 22 July 2014
Bus
Caught the non-stop bus, to Birmingham...
they won't let me off!!!?
I'm posting this from Whitley Bay at the moment...
they won't let me off!!!?
I'm posting this from Whitley Bay at the moment...
Wednesday, 16 July 2014
Saturday, 12 July 2014
Deliver Us From Evil
Amazon is seeking US permission to test Prime Air delivery drones.
Online retailer says in letter to FAA it has made 'advancements towards development of highly automated aerial vehicles'. The use of delivery drones in far away places could bring a new era in, for example, the third world.
One potential customer from North Kenya, thinks delivery drones could be of great use.
"We are investigating the potential to use of such delivery drones to meet our needs also" said a Mr. Abdula "Mad Bomber" Jihad, today.*
*(nb this is topical satire only)
Online retailer says in letter to FAA it has made 'advancements towards development of highly automated aerial vehicles'. The use of delivery drones in far away places could bring a new era in, for example, the third world.
One potential customer from North Kenya, thinks delivery drones could be of great use.
"We are investigating the potential to use of such delivery drones to meet our needs also" said a Mr. Abdula "Mad Bomber" Jihad, today.*
*(nb this is topical satire only)
Tuesday, 8 July 2014
Saturday, 5 July 2014
Monday, 30 June 2014
Disco Pilot Light
I met a person in the street, the other day, who claimed to be a "Non-Stop Disco Dancer"
I asked him "Why are you not disco dancing then?"
He replied "It's my day off"
I asked him "Why are you not disco dancing then?"
He replied "It's my day off"
A Taste of Honey
Animal Liberation are hailing the escape of a Guinea Pig called Betty, today.
Betty disguised herself and a research scientist, stole a car and drove out of the secret testing laboratory last week. Unfortunately, as soon as Betty was enjoying life on the outside world, she was eaten by a fox.
Betty disguised herself and a research scientist, stole a car and drove out of the secret testing laboratory last week. Unfortunately, as soon as Betty was enjoying life on the outside world, she was eaten by a fox.
Saturday, 28 June 2014
Tracy Emin vs. Persil
Tracey Emin 'hopes' her most famous artwork, an unmade bed, will end up in a museum after it is sold at auction.
"My Bed" (1998), which features stained sheets, cigarette packets, and soiled clothing, was due to be sold at Christie's next Tuesday. It was expected to fetch between £800,000 and £1.2 million.
Vandals, however, have broken in and destroyed the art piece - please see photo below.
Tracey is said to be devastated.
"My Bed" (1998), which features stained sheets, cigarette packets, and soiled clothing, was due to be sold at Christie's next Tuesday. It was expected to fetch between £800,000 and £1.2 million.
Vandals, however, have broken in and destroyed the art piece - please see photo below.
Tracey is said to be devastated.
Thursday, 26 June 2014
A Poke in the Third Eye
I was talking to a new-age guru the other day about "mind over matter".
I shared how I had once thought in my mind, about having a lovely cup of tea... and do you know... I was absolutely amazed when I got up, put the kettle on and made one. Wow!!! Isn't the power and potential, of the human brain, amazing?
He looked dumbfounded and walked away, shaking his head... I guess, not many can handle the truth!
I shared how I had once thought in my mind, about having a lovely cup of tea... and do you know... I was absolutely amazed when I got up, put the kettle on and made one. Wow!!! Isn't the power and potential, of the human brain, amazing?
He looked dumbfounded and walked away, shaking his head... I guess, not many can handle the truth!
Banksy
Apparently the street artist Banksy is so fed up with greedy people lifting his work off of walls and selling it on at auction, he's now taking the step of creating work and then immediately removing it himself. He then plans to sell on his work.
"If they're going to nick my free art, I'm going to nick their plaster rendering. I might as well earn something from my work, a?. Plus it cuts out the middle man" he explained.
Keep an eye out around Bristol this summer for some of his latest work.
UPDATE: News Article Here
"If they're going to nick my free art, I'm going to nick their plaster rendering. I might as well earn something from my work, a?. Plus it cuts out the middle man" he explained.
Keep an eye out around Bristol this summer for some of his latest work.
UPDATE: News Article Here
Wednesday, 25 June 2014
Tuesday, 24 June 2014
Monday, 23 June 2014
Sunday, 15 June 2014
New 'Herbie' Sequel Planned
Hollywood has announced a sequel to the 'Herbie' franchise.
It's to be called "Herbie & Lindsey Lohan, Go Bananas"
... (so a documentary then)
... (so a documentary then)
Gullible Is, As Gullible Does
So sorry, but Forrest Gump made it all up!
Momma used to say,
'Lies Are Like A Box of Chocolates,
you never know which one you're gonna get'
'Lies Are Like A Box of Chocolates,
you never know which one you're gonna get'
Wednesday, 11 June 2014
Sunday, 1 June 2014
Saturday, 31 May 2014
Spelling Bee
Went to watch an international "spelling bee"
- it was rubbish, it just kept flying around a bit, before bumping into the window.
- it was rubbish, it just kept flying around a bit, before bumping into the window.
Friday, 30 May 2014
Tipping Point
'Prodigals' usually have to get to the place where they become so hungry,
that they eat their own words.
that they eat their own words.
Thursday, 29 May 2014
The Breville Made Me Do It
Just eaten some toasted Baked-Bean Sandwiches...
If it wasn't for Facebook... no one would have ever known
If it wasn't for Facebook... no one would have ever known
Monday, 26 May 2014
Saturday, 24 May 2014
William, It Was Really Nothing
"They might take our lands!
They might take our lives!
but they will never take our...
...sense of IRONY!!!"
The pictured sculpture in Stirling, Scotland, is of William Wallace. The artist based it on Mel Gibson's film 'Braveheart'; it was hated so much by locals, that the council had to fence it off, to protect it from vandalism.
They might take our lives!
but they will never take our...
...sense of IRONY!!!"
The pictured sculpture in Stirling, Scotland, is of William Wallace. The artist based it on Mel Gibson's film 'Braveheart'; it was hated so much by locals, that the council had to fence it off, to protect it from vandalism.
Thursday, 22 May 2014
Who's Going To Be Responsible?
"The massacre of the whole village isn't our fault" said some near-future government who conceived the design and it's autonomous algorithms, "Blame the robot!"
Yes, Naughty Robot!
"You want justice, so we'll dismantle it. How's that?, does that make you feel better?" said Dr Frankenstein to the crowd of grieving survivors, as he got into his limousine and sped away.
He didn't hear them say "no, not really"
Meanwhile, speaking of 'programmed killer robots'... a woman in a burka, blew herself up today in Kabul, killing 12 and injuring 78.
Yes, Naughty Robot!
"You want justice, so we'll dismantle it. How's that?, does that make you feel better?" said Dr Frankenstein to the crowd of grieving survivors, as he got into his limousine and sped away.
He didn't hear them say "no, not really"
Meanwhile, speaking of 'programmed killer robots'... a woman in a burka, blew herself up today in Kabul, killing 12 and injuring 78.
Wednesday, 21 May 2014
Tuesday, 20 May 2014
The World Wide Web
'Money spider' is the term given to spiders of the family Linyphiidae, an almost exclusively northern hemisphere group of moidern spiders typically characterised by being very small and black and difficult to distinguish. In the UK they make up around 40% of the spider fauna, or about 250 species, possibly more.
anyway... the Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced an increase in tax on all 'money spiders', as from the end of June.
anyway... the Chancellor of the Exchequer has announced an increase in tax on all 'money spiders', as from the end of June.
Dynasty
There's a saying: "If you can remember the 60's... you were not there"
Well here's another: "If you can remembers the 80's... I'm really sorry, but you WERE there"
Well here's another: "If you can remembers the 80's... I'm really sorry, but you WERE there"
Monday, 19 May 2014
Friday, 9 May 2014
BBC Licence Fee
I mean, it could be worse... it could be the Eurovision Song Contest on t.v. this weekend... oh, wait... hang on. Doh.
Friday, 2 May 2014
Next Door
Was looking on Gumtree and there was an advert for a "Star-Gate".
I thought "wow, I'd love one of those..."
Turns out they misspelled it... they were selling a "Stair-Gate". We live in a bungalow anyway.
Still, I'll keep looking; someone must have an inter-dimensional portal facility they're not using anymore.
I thought "wow, I'd love one of those..."
Turns out they misspelled it... they were selling a "Stair-Gate". We live in a bungalow anyway.
Still, I'll keep looking; someone must have an inter-dimensional portal facility they're not using anymore.
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