Honesty

Pastor expressing the "Honesty", the congregating have demanded. They can't handle the truth.
(Nb, this is a joke!)

Why I love Glastonbury Tor

Here on Glastonbury Tor, in 1990, I stood as a new-age hippie,
wearing a tatty Hawkwind T-shirt, looking for King Arthur... (it's a long story).

I met Jesus Christ instead! He gave me life before death. How? See here

I know first hand, that God can reach you anywhere… ANYWHERE. 

Never forget that, my friend.

Coffee, Coffee, Coffee... Coffee, erm Coffee

Bought a Tassimo coffee maker...
love'in the Ristoretto Expressos, the only side-effect is...
I can't shut my eyes anymore.

The 'Fast' Show

Q. "What are you giving up for Lent?"

A. "LENT !"

"Whaaaaaat???? Filthy heretic, wash out your mind by thinking about a wire brush and soap!!!"

(so say's the local Cardinal)

New Mac OS announced.

Yes folks... you saw it here first...
get your app store account ready!

Integrity.

Integrity.
It costs nothing, yet it can cost you everything to keep it.
It costs you nothing, yet it can cost you everything if you lose it.

The eyes are the lamps of the body.

Future Tense? Yep!

If I seem a little strange, it's because I'm having a prophetic revelation and amnesia, at the same time.

Unorthodox Outreach

There are mysteries in life and things we see, that we may never understand... like this style of evangelism from Finland. God bless you 'Uncle Sam Patriot'. You're ahead of your time.

Strange Cultural Exports

"Socks n Sandals?.. YEAH!.. WOOOOOO !!!"
said Tom Cruise, who was visiting England, today.

Impetuous

When I got my copy of the mystery novel,
I couldn't wait to know what was going to happen in the end.
So I turned to the back page to read "The Butler did it !!!"

"Did what?" I thought.

50 Eye Lashes

It's ok if we don't understand something... the question is... how seriously do we really want to find out?... if we can't be bothered, we need to stop lashing out at others, at least.

A lift with Shep

"Do I go on here at the lights?"

"No, turn right here... sorry. Then it's about 100yds on the left... thanks."

Mad Mahdi Gras

Islamic Fundamentalists - more mentalists, than fun.

Michael Bublé

• The surname "Cooper" is descended from those that made barrels.
• The surname "Smith" is from those that were blacksmiths.
• The surname "Archer" is from those that could shoot a longbow.
• The surname "Fisher" is from the fishing occupation.
• The surname "Potter" is from the craft of making clay items.
• The surname "Clark" is from the accounting profession.
• The surname "Bublé" is from the inventor of Matey - the Hypoallergenic Bath time fun mixture.

...and that's a fact people...     ...bloke down the pub said!!!

I just had a sandwich

I just had a sandwich...

... if it wasn't for Facebook, no one would ever have known.

Meanwhile, back at the quiz show...

The scores are level as we enter the next round.

Ok... for 10 points, which synopsis of Yayoi Kusama's public installation "Ascension of Polkadots on the Trees" did the art critic for the guardian newspaper make at the Royal Society recently?

Was it ?

A) Kusama has produced a functionalist dreamscape, aggressively bringing into focus the media's dissemination of relativism against traditional morality. A triumph!!!

or

B) Her work manages to be both a post-modern eyesore and tedious comment of todays penchant for naively reenforcing ironic pastiche. 

BUZZ

Yes, that's Goldie, first on the buzzer!

"Gruff, gruuur, Wuff"

No, I'm sorry, the answer was A.
Your answer, B, was actually a quote from an episode of Coronation Street in 1979, when Ken Barlow discussed Hilda Ogden's front room Caribbean Mural. - Much to the amusement of Deirdre, I might add.

Ok... moving on... Particle Physics now - for 10 points can...

Neigh Sir!

I tell yer... I'm so hungry I could eat a horse...  oh hang on, wait a minute?

Maybe have a veggie alternative, like some Linda McCartney's Malaysian Poodle flavour 'sausages' or Kitten mix Qourn mince.

It's always got me wondering, why veggies eat something that simulates the texture and flavour of meat. Surely the bland taste of mung-beans or the watery nothing that is cucumber slices is enough for their conscience?

I think they should bring out a range of vegetable flavoured meats... for those that can't bring themselves to eat our green friends, but like the taste! -might take the idea to Dragon's Den?

Pearls before swine

Professor Scooby-Gandalf's Monday morning at college, starts with champagne and a song about the south of France - and you thought you weren't appreciated at work.

Fruit

Feeding the 5000...      ...in Costa Rica.

Well, to be honest, you had me at "**** off"

It's the year to film these sketches that have been sitting in nine notebooks and various bits of paper for 10 years.

I think there's a short film called the "Highway to Hull" to script properly, but the sketches? it's just a matter of "getting on with them"

Will people, like them?... ultimately, I don't really care... Will they be funny? ...don't know... Will they be thought provoking?... I hope so... Will they offend the church?... probably... Will they offend a secular society?... I seriously hope so!!!

The creative decisions for me, are a case of 'How far do I go?'
As a Christian, there will be a limit... but that's up to The Lord.

My gut feeling is, God wants to pick a fight!

Think for a minute - PLEASE... give it a try.

Education in the U.K.

Education Secretary Michael Gove has confirmed his plans to replace GCSEs with the English Baccalaureate have been scrapped, admitting the idea amounted to "one reform too many".

The real reason is no one could pronounce the word "Baccalaureate"

Move yer selves, move yer selves, move yer selves!!!

Iz the jungle getting to hot for you sonny jim? ...Oh dear, what a pity, never mind!