Britain 2020

 

George cLooney's Favourite Nespresso

 

 

Boss, dee plane, dee plane

Did you know that the 1970's TV show, "Fantasy Island" never actually existed. 

It was all a dream!

The Media of Choice

"Now all express yourselves, by painting the thing we tell you to."

Charles The Evangelist

Dune

Do you feel your life is a bit bland and people consider you boring?
Here's an idea... sprinkle Paprika on your trainers and go round telling people you've just got back from Mars... You'll be the talk of the town!

A Breath of Fresh Air

Here's an idea. Convert the Emergency Oxygen Masks into a permanent thing, throughout the flights. Issue a new connectable mask for each passenger?

Government Policies

The Sum of all Fears

They say that 'Newspeak' is "Double Plus Good".
They say "2+2=5"

Who's "they", I wonder?

Novid 19

Duuuurn dun, duuurn dun, dun dun dun dun dun

Going To A Higher Court

Exodus 18:26
"So they judged the people at all times; the Hard-Cases they brought to Moses, ..."

Avatar

Lol Tolhurst and Robert Smith back in the day.
You’d think with a name like Lol, he’d smile once in a while, at least

Are You Not Entertained?!!!

Today the Government is to announce new measures to focus the British people’s anger away from Dominic Cummings hypocritical flouting of the lockdown rules. Boris Johnson has decreed that each major UK city, is to hold a month of “Gladiatorial Bloodsport games”. He has stated that the British people need a welcome distraction right now and nonstop bloody violence, should give the "mob" what they want.

Wembley stadium is to be converted in to a colosseum this week. “A marvellous piece of British engineering” said Mr Johnson.

Asked if Dominic Cummings had anything to do with the plans, the PM blustered instead, how he "wanted to pay tribute to the NHS" and that "social distancing MUST be observed during all Bloodfest 2020 events". He refused to answer what opponents were due to be conscripted into the arena events. He did hint however, that Prime Ministers' Question Time, is to be suspended and those wishing to interrogate Government policy are free to do so, "Rigorously" during the games.

So thumbs up or thumbs down for this one?

Experts Somewhere

Coronavirus News:
To help in the fight against coronavirus, a UK Think-Tank has proposed today, to move 'R' further along the alphabet.

Everything is gong to be alright Britain... everything is going to be alright.

Alphabet Soup

UnSocial Distancing

It's Childish... I know.

Hollyrude

Scottish first minister, Nichola Sturgeon, is due to hold a major press-conference today. This comes just before the UK governments' official one later. The pattern has been to present the UK Parliament's proposals in advance, to give the impression that they follow her lead; boosting her profile as an important player in these troubled times.

Today she intends to let the whole UK know what is about to happen
in Emmerdale, Eastenders and Coronation Street!!

What is wrong with this world?

The Masks We Wear

What you think you look like, in a face-mask

What you really look like

Harmony

Stuck in doors with family members?... why not encourage your kids to learn how to play the Recorder... that should be good for everyone's morale and mental state.

100 Years

A future scene from the Antiques Roadshow, where in the year 2120, a lady has brought in Boris Johnsons' 2020 Coronavirus letter sent to UK households, to ask what it was worth.

The best news she was given, was her grandfather survived, so as to pass it on.

Tent Peg

When you're in corona lockdown with members of your family...

Good Sense

Apparently, one of the symptoms of the coronavirus is your "sense of taste" goes...

Derek Nimmo Found Alive!!!

Derek Nimmo found alive!!!
Thought to have died in 1999, sitcom actor, famous for playing comedy vicars, has been found in Whitehaven, alive and well. Currently employed by Waitrose to round up stray shopping trollies in the car park, the discovery has been hailed as a shining example of non discrimination regarding working age. Asked if he would ever consider working in a sitcom again, he exclaimed loudly “oh crikey” just as his trousers fell down.

April 1st 2020

You're 'IT'

PM Boris Johnson has sent a letter to every household in Britain, warning the coronavirus will get worse, before it gets better.
So Boris sending everyone a letter, whilst having the virus himself? ...i'm not ****** touching it with a barge pole!!!

(I know... he doesn't send each one personally... just being silly)

Self Isolating

When the Government declares you must stay in your house,
but you insist on going out-out