Monday, 20 July 2015

Stink

Someone offered me some Mascarpone-flavoured ice cream...

I thought "Musky Pony? ...euurrrgh"


Sunday, 19 July 2015

Euro-Ties

The Greek crisis, could be due to the members of their parliament not wearing ties. If only they would, all their wildest dreams will come true.


Thursday, 16 July 2015

Remember Belzec

"Cheer up... it may never happen!"

"But I was just thinking about World War II"

















"Cheer up... it may never happen ever again!"

"But that's why I need to keep thinking about World War II"


Monday, 13 July 2015

No Man's Land...

The earth is the Lord’s, and all its fullness,
The world and those who dwell therein.



For He has founded it upon the seas,
And established it upon the waters.

Who may ascend into the hill of the Lord?
Or who may stand in His holy place?

He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who has not lifted up his soul to an idol,
Nor sworn deceitfully.

He shall receive blessing from the Lord,
And righteousness from the God of his salvation.

This is Jacob, the generation of those who seek Him,
Who seek Your face. Selah

Lift up your heads, O you gates!
And be lifted up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.

Who is this King of glory?
The Lord strong and mighty,
The Lord mighty in battle.

Lift up your heads, O you gates!
Lift up, you everlasting doors!
And the King of glory shall come in.

Who is this King of glory?
The Lord of hosts,
He is the King of glory. Selah

Psalm 24

Saturday, 4 July 2015

Here, By Invitation Only

"And He changes the times and the seasons;
He removes kings and raises up kings..."
Daniel 2:21



Silly Cow


New legislation, lobbied by a minority group, coming to a law court near you.

Monday, 29 June 2015

The Park Knight


See... this is what happens when you park in Bath without a resident's permit from the council.

Friday, 26 June 2015

Free Taylor Swift

Apparently, Taylor Swift is outraged by another example of her "music" being heard for free.


"It's outrageous... it's pure theft from artists who work so hard, to create 'music' " she said.

This time, her indignation is aimed at the general public, who might, on occasion, sing her songs aloud to themselves.

"Where's my royalties" asked multi-millionaire Taylor today. "It's just greedy" she added whilst getting into a limo.


Thursday, 25 June 2015

This Is Not The End

“For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.”
Hebrews 13:14

El Zocalo

El Zocalo, Mexico City... yes, Mr Bond, it is exactly how I remember it


However... There is a local remnant that declares LIFE!!! (my own footage)


Wednesday, 10 June 2015

Being Responsible

The Government Health Department has issued a reminder to employers that, when employees go to the toilet, "to please remember to wash their hands afterward. This helps prevent the spread of germs."


In other news... the U.S. Pentagon, has apparently been sending live batches of Anthrax to various labs all over the planet. (Link) It is assumed that if there's an accidental break-out, they will quickly be 'washing their hands', too.

Friday, 5 June 2015

Roadmap Needed

Apparently, Iranian news agencies are reporting the injuries John Kerry received from falling off his bike, are actually due to being "caught up in a fire-fight with Isis gunmen"?

Things Go In Cycles

For so long, western news sources have, allegedly, fed the world truths, half truths and outright misinformation, which has fuelled all sorts of conspiracy theories.
*A spokesman for Nasim News Agency said "Well this gives western news agencies, a taste of their own medicine."


*Na, just made that up - Well, you know what they say ..."B.S. Baffles Brains"

...who's 'they'?

Friday, 29 May 2015

Wax Lyrical

Ed Sheeran posing with a "wax work of him taking a selfie"


Tribute Acts


A Sea-Sick Steve tribute act, is playing in and around Bristol this week...

Slightly-Queesy Rodney says "he is look'in forward to it".

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Eurovision 2015

Eurovision - reading between the lines:
"all our points go to... Russia... (so please don't invade us)"

Wednesday, 20 May 2015

Cakehole

Feel the need to go into a Cake shop run by a Stonewall supporter and see if they refuse to make a cake like this one...


 (re: Ashers case)

2/6/2015
UPDATE: ta-da

Friday, 15 May 2015

That Rudder



“But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.” - Matthew 12:36

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

This is Maud Spangles.


This is Maud Spangles. Maud has been a Freelance Clown for over 15 years.
She regularly turns up to kid's parties, whereby all manner of crazy events and chaos then ensue... the trouble is... she's never invited.

Monday, 13 April 2015

Government Health Warning

Like providing outside "smoking zones" with shelters, the government is proposing something similar for owners of selfie-sticks.

The "selfie-booths" will be sited well-away from major tourist locations and have background options;  including scenes of nearby tourist attractions, or a basic green screen (so visitors can photoshop a location in, when they get home).


Those proposing the scheme, say it will stop selfish people ruining the day of the vast majority of other selfish people.

Friday, 10 April 2015

Game Of Drones

"pulling the trigger here, and watching something die over there."
(Dark Wings, Dark Words)

Saturday, 4 April 2015

Just A Big Kid

"I Beg Your Pardon!!!!? Why... I have never been so insulted in my life... I know I'm only One and Half years old... but that's not the point!"


Friday, 3 April 2015

Saddled

Rome... Constantinople...

Roman Catholic... Eastern Orthodox...

...Close yer legs!


Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Headbutts

UPDATE: 18TH MAY 2015 (There is much truth in Jest)

* UPDATE 21/12/2015 (BBC Article)


Nuclear deal reached with Iran?
Then from Saudi Arabia came "Waaa, that's not fair... if they can have nukes, why can't we?"

*And so began the "Wahhabist Arms-Race", until one day, they all joined forces against the "infidels".
The West then only had four minutes, to try to renegotiate, but no one answered the phone.

Whoops-a-daisy.




Thursday, 26 March 2015

Lambs To The Slaughter

News today, that Zayn Malik is leaving the boy band, One Direction. This "band", who write all their own songs and choreograph all their dance routines and have nearly brought World Peace, will now continue as a four member group.

Zyan with the band on tour in Starving Africa

Arch Kak-Mogul, Simon Cowell, is now busy lining up the next assembly of pied pipers to fleece the undiscerning public of their cash. Watch this space.

Tuesday, 17 March 2015

Flatchulant Elton John

Elton John is calling for a boycott on Fashion designers Dolce and Gabbana (because they disagree with aspects of his fantasy lifestyle.) Who's going to boycott them? those who attend his parties? Elton and his debauched "circle" of friends, are probably the only ones who can afford Dolce & Gabbana's stuff anyway!

Gentlemen and Gentlemen... the late Elton John

I say boycott Elton John's music!!!... basically, on the premise that it's crap!
Shut up Elton, you big bag of wind! - (and stop burning bibles!)


Monday, 16 March 2015

National Interests

Rumours that the current Russian Naval manoeuvres in the Arctic, are a precursor to a land grab for natural resources are unfounded.

A British Official Person from the Ministry for Appeasement, has said today, "Rather than an annexation of the region, we have been reassured by Moscow, that they are merely ensuring the protection of Russian penguins, within the local population."


Phew... that's all right then.

UPDATE: 26/12/2015 (is anyone actually listening?)

Saturday, 14 March 2015

Where Is President Putin?

So, Just where is President Putin?


Why, he's at Alton Towers of course... not that it's any of your business.

Thursday, 12 March 2015

Friday, 6 March 2015

Thursday, 5 March 2015

When Enough, Is Too Much

Buckaroo... the perfect fun game for members of  'passive/aggressive' families everywhere.

Saturday, 28 February 2015

Just Killing Time Online

"What colour is that dress? - White or Blue?"
Really Internet?


Ok, What colour is this? Orange or Red?


Both photos make me 'sick', for different reasons.

Saturday, 14 February 2015

Sunday, 8 February 2015

Appease Pudding


Appeasement "deals" never work.

Will the West give Ukraine to Putin, like they gave Czechoslovakia to Hitler in 1939? (Interestingly, also in Munich)




Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Luke 14:11

It doesn't take bravery to pin medals on yourself

For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 14:11

Friday, 23 January 2015

True Preservation

"For whosoever will save his life shall lose it:
and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it."
(Jesus in Matthew 16:25)


Wednesday, 21 January 2015

Friday, 16 January 2015

Snap

Last photo of Elmo Impersonator, Jocky Battersby, just as he is spotted by the real Emlo.


Witnesses say Jocky was set upon by Mr Elmo of 233 Sesame Street and killed by being bludgeoned by a large plastic 'number 7', followed by the letter 'B'. He is still at large and considered highly irritating.

Thursday, 15 January 2015

Media (do you) Savvy?

Terrible events in Paris recently. Radical Islam (i.e. those that take what the Koran actually says, seriously) is considered by many, to be a murderous 'death-cult'. The "Je Sui Charlie" thing is being held up as a campaign for "free speech".
Sorry, not condoning the evil acts of Mohammed's followers, BUT there's hypocrisy here!
Try saying publicly that homosexuality is biblically defined as a sinful perversion that is an abomination to The Lord, and you'll have Stonewall trying to take you to court for "hate speech".
Are you offended by the above? Is it really Hate Speech? or Free Speech? Can't have it both ways, sorry. So Charlie Hebdo can print all sorts of vile, unkind and disrespectful cartoons and say it's just satire... or is it really... hate speech?
It seems that whoever controls media, decides!
These, of course, are the voices opposed to "censorship" when Christians complain about extreme violence, blasphemy or sordid programmes on TV... but just say something as a Christian that THEY disagree with and watch the very censorship, they claim to oppose, kick in. Hypocrites!

(je ne suis pas drôle)





Gamers...

Gamers... disciples of the most underrated and unrecognised false prophet in your house.