Ever Been Had?

"Brexit means Brexit" *

P.M. Teresa May 

*EU Terms & Conditions Apply

Mr Rough n Tumble

Kids TV is not what it used to be...

Hung Parliament

A contingency of Scottish MPs are set to visit No 10 Downing Street tomorrow, to protest the recent blocking of the bill, that would make the vile practise of "Upskirting", a crime.

"Something needs to be done, 

as this particular issue is rife in the highlands." 

said Donald McDangle MP, today.

Agenda Benders

Shock Horror... on the soap 'Emmerdale' tonight, there featured a straight-married couple kissing... what are the writers trying to do to the series... promote normality?

(sarcasm, for anyone who didn't catch on)

Vomit

At this years Grammys & Emmys...

The UnTrueman Show

Ever get the feeling, those "negotiating" Brexit are stalling on purpose?
Maybe it will go away? Maybe people will change their minds?
Then they can say... "Well we tried our best"

No you didn't.

Truman trying to leave the EU during Brexit negotiations.

Bayeux Tapestry To Be Displayed In Britain

French President Mr Macron, has offered the Bayeux Tapestry to be displayed in Britain, for the first time in 950 years. Random gesture, or is he having a cultural dig?
LINK HERE

"We will in France, by God's Grace, play a set." - Shakespeare's Henry V on receiving Tennis Balls from the Dauphin, as a subtle insult.

hmmm, maybe we should send France some arrows from the battle of Agincourt? - as a sudden historical goodwill gesture, during brexit talks.

Winning (Broken) Hearts & Minds

"Today, Duncan accidentally went and fired a uranium-tipped missile at the wrong village"

"Oh dear me, we're in a bit of a pickle now, aren't we Duncan?" said the fat remote controller, nervously.

Ding Dong

Reassuring to know, "there's a button" on Mr Trumps' desk.

No one had the heart to tell him it was actually for calling the residents' warden... you know, if he gets stuck in the bath, or something.

Don't Be Obtuse

Heard a choir of Heavenly Angles today.
They sang about turning your life around 180º

Love Hurts

"Being a Christian isn't for sissies. It takes a real man to live for God - a lot more man than to live for the devil." - Johnny Cash.

Gert Lush

Big fan of this band. Brief return... then back to their lives. Worth the wait.

Lush 2016

Take This Church To Cuba

When you open the microphone, at a church meeting...

Les

Saw Les Miserables at the cinema today.

I said "Oi, Les, cheer up!!!!" Did he smile?... did he ****

Homophobia By Definition

Stonewall says "the floor is lava!!!"

...and we all jump onto a chair

Wok n Roll

Chinese "Human League Tribute Act" perform a "flashmob" performance of 'don't you want me baby' at half-time, during a Bristol Rovers match.

Stark Reminder

The government of Westoros, based in Kings Landing, have made a statement today that "there is no North/South Divide in our nation."

Minority Report

In the news... another minority group, "lobbies" the majority again.

I don't know... ...It's mad, gone political correctness.

"Must Be Your Fault"

"Well you obviously didn't follow the instructions!"

The Genesis of Grenfell

Adam Curtis has made some of the most thought provoking docs for decades... here's one that foresaw a Grenfell-like incident back in 1984. (Especially 2.57 minutes in)

Logan's Run

Medical/Legal "experts" and rights-lobbyists, are so pro-active in fighting for the "right" to abortion, or turning a blind eye to terminally ill people visiting a euthanasia clinic in Switzerland to be put to death. They seem equally militant in physically stopping the parents of little Charlie Gard, taking him to America. Even if there may be little hope of a cure, should a law court hold sway over a baby's life, more than the parents trying to do all they can?

I know it's a difficult case but it is what's called a precedent. This precedent will flower in about 10 years time, into state-sanctioned 'life ending' on the whim of an "expert".

A Slippery slope! the opponents will say 'no it's not and that won't happen'. That's what they initially said about abortion of course - and yet now, the British Medical Council are voting to allow abortion right up until BIRTH for ANY reason. State killing, all round then. It seems the UK Government will soon need to open a new office... "The Ministry of Death"

Come back soon Lord Jesus... please

Saturday Swine Fever

Currently watching Barry Gibb on TV singing at Glastonbury Festival.

Amazing song writer; apart from the songs penned for the Bee Gees, he also wrote songs for Dionne Warwick, Dianna Ross, Kenny Rodgers/Dolly Parton...

... and not forgetting "I wish I could fly", written for Keith Harris & Orville.

Agatha Crusty

Sorry, this weeks 'Murder Mystery Weekend' event, has been canceled. The person organising it was found in his library, bludgeoned by a candlestick, this morning.

Vanity Fair

Following a fair rebuke by Mr Trump, regarding every NATO member paying their fair contribution towards it... German Chancellor Merkel has said today, regarding the USA and the UK, that "Europe 'can no longer rely on allies' after Trump and Brexit"

Oh, here comes the the U.S.E. Standing Army.

Oh, here comes the Russian/Turkish Axis invasion.

Oh here comes the U.S.A. & U.K. to help Europe.

Let's Make Montenegro Great Again

With respect, do be careful Mr Trump...

"So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen."
Matthew 20:16

Gold, Frankincense & Murmurs

Donald Trump meets the pope in the Vatican today.
"The new Pope is a humble man, very much like me." Said Donald Trump a few years ago.

Yeah, but this is the man with gold and nothing but the best, all over his opulent home.

...Donald Trump has spent a lot on his decor too.

UPDATE:

Mr Trump being told "you're fired" by Mike (jesuit trained) Pence's boss.

Expect some "internal shenanigans" to arise, in the next few weeks?

King Arthur Rank

Listen David Beckham's a fine actor... I mean, he's persuaded everyone that he's been a genius footballer for decades.

David Beckham's acting, slated online by viewers 

of Guy Richie's new film trailer, about King Arthur

What Is A "Men's Breakfast" Anyway?

Cultural Appropriation

The latest social-conditioning, disguised as "not offending people"? (who really aren't offended) Enter: "Cultural appropriation". Here's an example LINK

It's been done before, but then we all fondly laughed about it...

Pyramid Sales

Pope Francis met with Pope Tawadros II in Egypt today. Alexandrian tradition, requires it's 'popes' to attend state visits wearing an Elvis style wig.

For the sake of "ecumenical unity" Pope Francis was asked to lip synch to a recording of "His Latest Flame"

That's Not Funny Dave

Stop me if you've heard this one before.

Talk Is Cheap

Big difference between "I've got your back" & "I've got you back"

"People may be pure in their own eyes, 

but the Lord examines their motives."

- Proverbs 16:2 -

BlinKing Arthur

Giantkiller

The days are coming, when the only direction you can run,
is forward!

Triggered

Today, in Brussels, Article 50 was 'Triggered' by Britain.

It bounced... Triggered

International Men's Day

How will you celebrate?

In The Work House

Meanwhile... in the House of Lords

La La Land

So... the Teletubbies being disappointed that "LaLa Land" didn't win an Oscar is "fake news"?

One Direction

Who's going to this?

Brit Awards 2017

At the Brit Awards this evening, 'best dead singer' award went to Louis Armstrong for his hit single "All the time in the world". Louis couldn't be there to receive the award, however the award was received by Elvis Presley, who also couldn't be there.

In other events, gormless puppets, operated by people in the shadows, moved about on stage to Katy Perry's new plastic-political single. There were also two giant skeletons as well.

Dusk Harvest

Christian-Goth band Saviour Machine, available for meetings, out-reach and Alpha-Away weekends. Alternatively, you could just emulate Phil Wickham or Matt Redman every week as usual. Also, just to say, apologies to HillSongs, London... trying to start a mosh-pit during a "soaking time", maybe wasn't such a good idea after all

Les Paul Guitars

Next time anyone raves about buying a "Les Paul" lead guitar, just play them this shite... they'll probably get a Fender.

None Of The Above

In the era of rising Autocracy, could one of the "10 Kings" be taking his seat?

I Prefer My Own Scare Stories Thanks

BBC news headline today "Arsenic in rice"
I'm more concerned about general practices when harvesting it in the first place.
I mean... All those Chinese blokes working in the paddy fields all day... They're going to go to the side in the field for a wee are they?

Disco Inferno

Soldier and Ex-world Champion Disco Dancer, Jimmy Macaroon, was wounded by a sniper during a battle today, after his commanding officer shouted “Everybody... Get Down!!!”.

Transfruitism

"Five-a-day First", a militant vegan lobby group, are campaigning for the abolition of fruit and veg based product names for a more "fruity/veggie-fluid" definition. What?
I don't know... it's political correctness gone mad.

Fangs For The Memory

If evil ever smiles in your direction,
do not take it as a compliment

Riot Of Colour

We're all "a people of colour" if you think about it... I'm a sort of blotchy-pink.

Stirring Stuff

The Vatican is currently investigating the appearance of St Benny's* face in a cup of Ristoretto, in Naples today.

A representative of the Roman See said, "we expect a lot of people to take the mick out of this, but it only goes to prove we are in the Latte times and we know from scripture that 'in the last days, there will be Mochas' ".

*St Benny: Patron Saint of Baristas.

Data-Fracking

Did Russia forward data-mined info about Mrs Clinton, during the US election? Doesn't really matter...

Was the information all true??? That's important!

Wish I'd Thought Of This

Memory Lane

I took a trip down Memory Lane, but had to stop,
due to God doing major road-works.

From Here, To Modernity

Vin Diesel and Al Pacino auditioning for major upcoming movie lead role about Nigel Farage' MEP. Others rumored to be in the running are Scott Eastwood, Donnie Yen and Johnny Depp.

The idea for a Hollywood movie about Brexit vs. the EU, sounds like a 'Comic Strip Presents' spoof, but it's for real...

"... yeah, yeah, yeah, look... Just shut up and take my Euros!"

Happy 1st Day Of The Gregorian Calender

Everyone seems so excited, happy and shouty at this 'New Year".
Now all we have to do is maintain this enthusiasm for the next 364 days.

Oh No It Isn't

Dear Pantomime Characters, save time for everyone, by just accepting advice from the audience immediately.

The U.N. Are Such Philistines

The Lord will fight for Israel... therefore, it's everyone else I'm getting quite concerned for... (e.g. Mr Obama, New Zealand etc) - a "Swift Consequence" is now highly likely... and nothing can stop it.

"It is a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the living God." - Hebrews 10:31

Goliath, have you really learned nothing?

I'll Get Me Coat

When you're out having a fellowship meal with folks in a pub and then someone insists that the conversation really needs to "go there" regarding someone's private medical issues.

Uncivil Rights

Countdown

God willing...

The Manchurian Candidate

It seems China is being lined up to be the NWO pantomime-villain, in the next couple of years. Just a heads-up, in advance for those listening and praying.

They See Me Roll'n

"They see me roll'n... they a hate'n"

The Death Of A Disco Dancer

R.I.P. Colonel Abrams... who was neither a "commissioned army officer" or "jewish"... (Unless someone from the IDF can confirm otherwise) 😊

Not a fan in particular, but sad all the same.

Jurassic Parking Ticket