Tuesday, 31 December 2013

There he is!

Author Martin Handford, is best known for his illustrated books called "Where's Wally?" or in the USA, "Where's Waldo?" However, not many people realise what Mr Handford actually looks like.

So here's a treat... scroll down and you will see a rare photograph of him, I took recently.

























Saturday, 28 December 2013

Gimmie Relationship

"Hey, hi religion, how's it going?"
"Shhhhhh, NO talking!!!"

Hagiagard Sophia

Sunday, 22 December 2013

Remember Belzec


Here in this carload
I, Eve,
with my son Abel.
if you see my older boy,
Cain, the son of man
tell him that I...

(poem, written in pencil in sealed railway car on the way to a Nazi Death Camp)

When Possible... Make A U-Turn

Buddhists... when next pontificating about "self-denial" or "will power"... stop and consider what an enormously Fat bloke, Buddha was.


Acts 16:30-31
And he brought them out and said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”
So they said, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and you will be saved, you and your household.” 

X-Mass Effect

The 'Self Nutting' Kit from Ronco.
Render yourself unconscious in the comfort of you own garden.
Available from Aldi, Dobbies and all good retail outlets. Just £24.99

Friday, 20 December 2013

First-World Problems:

Breaking a biscuit in half to fit inside your cup of tea and it breaks into three... now you can't fold it over to dunk in one go... waaaaa


Thursday, 19 December 2013

Barking

'The Pugs', Irelands only all-dog band, play the Brixton Academy tonight. Expect classic songs such as "Gotta Shoe I Gotta Chew" , "Fire Hydrant Baby" and "Don't Worry, be Yappy"
Doors open 7.30pm.


Ooooh, Gis Us A Kiss

Truth is truth, no matter how ugly it gets

"…He who gives a right answer kisses the lips."
Proverbs 24:26

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

Trouble With Piles

Back in the office and I've had to hit the ground... rolling


Doctor Doctor

"that we may apply the medicine of the Scripture, every man to his own sores" - William Tyndale (from 'The Obedience of A Christian Man')


Monday, 16 December 2013

Sunday, 15 December 2013

Armageddon

The gates of the literal hill of "Armageddon".
Most people go on holiday to Spain...    ...not me.

Tel Meggido, Jezreel Valley, Northern Israel. 
December 2013

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

The Hills Are Alive...

Off to Israel for a while, so won't be posting for a few days.

Thanks for visiting... please look through all the older stuff perhaps.

Will post again in a couple of weeks

Cheers...

Dave


Monday, 2 December 2013

Face Like Flint

Boxer Floyd Patterson once said "I was the boxer who was knocked down the most... but I was also the boxer who got back up the most"

Somedays you may feel down... but you don't ever have to be "out" :)


Even A Wall, Can Still Say It All...

When people put up a wall... see it as an opportunity, to say something

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. - Romans 8:38-39

Sunday, 1 December 2013

The Boy Who Cried "WOLF"...



... and was RIGHT, every time!

A Picture of True Harmony:

A soundtrack of the Nine; Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, Self-Control - growing together in the life of one person.


Saturday, 30 November 2013

The Stalking Dead

Do you know these people?


No?
They're some of the people you, nonchalantly, added as "Friends" on Facebook and they've hired a coach and are all coming to see you.

Not feeling so social now, a?

Thursday, 28 November 2013

The Devil's Advocate

Was having a discussion the other day and was trying to play the 'Devil's Advocate' -
then I thought... "Naaa, guilty as hell, stuff him!"



Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Smart Wigs

Back in April I made up and posted this, as a joke about THE iWIG.

I now read on the BBC NEWS WEBSITE HERE, that Sony are filing a patent for this crazy idea? (Maybe they've figured out how to pick up brainwaves and use them to command electronic devices, whilst having a new hair-do. If not... royalties please, for another fantastic idea that'll probably get nicked) UPDATE JULY 2014 - Yep, as usual LINK

Dear Sony,
any chance of a job in your development department?... I've also got a design idea for a "smart" false beard and detachable moustache. 

I scrapped the idea for smart-underwear, though. "Project Smartiepants" is on hold, after a public test-run saw the subject being arrested for indecency. He was carted off to Bristol police station, protesting that he was "only answering an email"

Oh well, the boundaries of genius and madness are a "no man's land".

I might reinvent Sony's Walkman. It ultimately, irritated so many fellow passengers on public transport over the years, by being "only just audible" to them; you know the hiss of the music and the tick-tick of the drums; I thought, "why not go the whole hog"!!! So I'm designing the Sony 'Personal Karaoke System'. That should be popular on the morning commuter train. You heard it here first folks... in 6 months I might be whinging again that "they've stolen that idea now!"

"I can't do anything with my hair"
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Monkey Simpson, the Lazy Little Layabout

"Hey Simps, how's it going?"

"Ahh, bored. Was thinking of going down the ice rink, but cos I'm a monkey, they probably won't let me in. So... dunno really."


Monday, 25 November 2013

Ryland Seyz...

Rylan says: "I feel I'm a very "Spiritual" person and all that, Right?... cuz I've seen the following films... 'Ghostbusters' & 'The Matrix Trilogy'; and I'm not joking, right!... But that's not all, right, I've got a signed annual by Oprah Winfrey and I met Robert Powell once, at London Zoo... so don't ever say I'm not "Spiritual" right!"

Sunday, 24 November 2013

Saturday, 23 November 2013

Friday, 22 November 2013

Are You Bored?

Here's a great idea... bring makers of Yogurt and Tea bags to account, by writing to them about their "Fruits of The Forest" products. Ask them the following question:

Dear Sirs, 

please could you let me know which actual forest, the fruits are from, 
all the best,

...your name...

I've 10 firms (and counting) who have NOT replied so far. Just what are they hiding?




Casual Fridays in Gotham


Thursday, 21 November 2013

Pig Pen-Pal

Betty Bacon wants to be your friend on Facebook.
She's a big fan of, you guessed it, "One Direction" and likes Harry, the best.


Get Off My Land

I dunno... you leave the bungalow for a few minutes and this happens...


Terrible Twos

It's unnerving when you visit someone's house and their kids just STARE at you. But it's even worse when they're dressed up as scary clowns as well!


Wednesday, 20 November 2013

British Coffee... yeah, I know!

When Coffee Tastes This Good...

Some People...

 "Oh, I saw a rainbow today... it was in black and white" or "Yeah, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel... it was an oncoming train"...

- Oh CHEER UP

(It's not you, by the way)


c Rap

Eninimenmen or ....whatever... here is the bitter, venomous, sorry "lyrical genius of a generation" - hilarious


Tuesday, 19 November 2013

X-FILES Case 1309b SOLVED:

1932 Nazca, Peru. 
Dr Pablo Sanchez confirms his mate Eddie got bored at work excavating gravel and decided to freak out "future archeologists and UFO nutters", by using his work's JCB to carve a picture of a "Space Monkey" in the desert.

The Stuff Of Nightmares

The 80's - if you can remember it... you WERE there!



Saturday, 16 November 2013

Famous Last Words No.9

Amateur wrestler Dangerous Bertie McQuern at Longleat Safari Park:
"Oi Steve, Hold my beer and watch this"


Friday, 15 November 2013

Thursday, 14 November 2013

Wednesday, 13 November 2013

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Chilly Sauce

Dirty Looks, Friday night in the queue of a Japanese Manga Kebab shop...
This won't end well.


DN7

The Transfagarasen Road, through the Carpathian Mountains in Romania.
For once, I must agree with Jeremy Clarkson... it IS "the best road in the world"!!!

36 miles of this... amazing place

Sovereignty

"Dawkins! here's the "missing link" you're looking for"


Monday, 11 November 2013

To Be Used For Peaceful Purposes?

Useful Questions John Kerry should be asking...

No1: "ok, how many Nuclear POWER STATIONS have you built then?"


The World Won't Listen.


"Democracy" in Action

I remember a few years ago in England there was, nationally, a pair of rival bookstores... Dillons Books and Waterstones. I used to go into one and see a couple of books I wanted, but then check the prices of the store next door. One of the books next door was cheaper. "Great" I thought, I got a deal... glad I checked. It turned out later, that Dillons and Waterstones were owned by the same people! Here I was thinking I had a choice... but in reality, different sides of the same coin. It was a contrived "choice", that was provided to the public. It was an illusion of "choice".

In more important matters, say democracy.... please, let candidates be for real - a true opposition, that will spark accountability and healthy debate. Otherwise this, coupled with austerity, will allow apathy will arise in the people (if not already); this could then allow extremist ideas and personalities, that promise to "Take it all away" in to power. (Maybe that's the plan? - gulp)
Ironically, that would be still a result of the Democratic process (albeit short term/short lived).

If we don't have a REAL choice, it ultimately makes a farce of promoting 'democracy' around the world.

So, Who Chooses the "Choices" we think we make? ...at the moment, we're still allowed to ask that!

This Way Please

Sunday, 10 November 2013

The Vinyl Frontier

"Shout going out to the "red-shirt away team posse", take care out there, lads"


Muppet Issues

Cookie Monster's lesser known older brother, "Dunk-a-Rich Tea Biscuit-Monster" often felt sad, as many times he wanted biscuits, they went all soggy and fell to the bottom of his mug of tea.


For Those With Eyes To See

"Insincerity is a dish that is best served... lukewarm"
- Old Cling-on Proverb -


Saturday, 9 November 2013

Stake Holder

Six Hundred & Fifty One... SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY ONE POSTS!!!  ah ah ah ah ah ah aaaah.