Metropolis

The idea is buzzing around parliament that governmental powers could be devolved to city councils or a single city mayor...

Not a good idea! I mean Bradford would become an islamic caliphate, under sharia law and heaven knows what would become of Manchester.

The concept is kind of devolving back to a Norman feudal system - No thank you. It can sometimes be difficult enough getting through to a central government, never mind the office of a potentially "selfishly-ambitious personality". I mean, take look at Toronto... what the...

An English sub-parliament, along with Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, subject to the British Parliament - yep, no worries!!!

UPDATE 14th May 2015
Noooo!!! 

Stand

Bendy iPhones

"My new iPhone 6 has bent?, I demand a refund!" - said some fella, who had it in his back pocket when he sat on it.

Yes that's right Apple... whatever were you thinking of, when you CLEARLY marketed the iPhone 6 having an "ultra-thin" spec? Surely your designers should have accounted for "ultra-stupid" people?

Dear Apple, 

I write to complain about your new iPad. Upon removing it from it's packaging, I decided to hit it with a claw hammer. The screen in now broken and I wish to know what you intend to do about it? 

yours sincerely
Mr Dwaine T. Lobotomy III

Maybe they also need to redesign the Macbook Pro, in case someone accidentally throws one into next door's swimming pool by using it to play frisbee with their Pitbull?

The Year That Changes Everything

Genesis 12:3

“I will bless those who bless you,

And I will curse him who curses you;

And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

Alternative middle east peace plan - DANCE-OFF !!! 

Yes & No

So glad that Scotland is staying. Thank you Lord for your mercy... it's a shot across this nation's bows!!! A lot of evil has been authorised by parliament in this last year. (Some 'Good' too, BUT there's some legislation was just plain evil and God's judgement was and still is, a breath away)

Europe was sharpening it's knives and Islam would have had a "scheme" if Great Britain had been dissolved.

Jesus said "Let your "Yes" be Yes and your "No" be no, anything beyond this, is from the Devil" - this has obvious application to Scotland's decision.

There is another aspect though, that I hope the UK parliament holds to. That is their pre-vote pledge to give great devolving powers to Scotland! They MUST keep their word!!! What Jesus said applies to Parliament too! The vote over the border was very close... there's enough potential division already.. (it could've divided households, like the miner's strike did in the 1980's) - if the Prime Minister doesn't do what he promised... a great bitterness will spread!

So, not just Scotland, but the UK Government, let your "Yes" be Yes and your "No" be no, anything beyond this is from the Devil.

Thank you Scotland... love you! Thank you Lord... LOVE YOU!

Freedom is Not Free (that's inflation for you folks)

The Spirit Of Control

WHACK!!!

"Owww. what did you hit me for?"

"Nothing... just you wait till you actually do something!!!"

Free Gaza?

Free Gaza    ...From Hamas!

Painful to Sit-Com

Who remembers, family situation-comedy, "The Piles", sponsored by Tiger Balm? At it's height, it was the most popular show on UK television - Every Saturday Night.

Ultimately, it was overshadowed by X Factor. Both shows were the brainchild of Simon Cowell. (Both painful to watch)

The Trouble With The World Today

WELL, I BLAME THE great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grand-PARENTS!!!

The Bieber Bucket Challenge

The challenge is for as many people as possible, to nominate Justine Bieber to empty a bucket of lukewarm urine over his own head.

Go on, it's for a good cause... the good cause being to see Justine Bieber repeatedly empty a bucket of lukewarm urine over his own head.

I nominate Justine Bieber

(Too much? ...sorry - but it can't be any worse than what he's currently doing to his own soul)

I Wandered Lonely as an iCloud

"Did you know, it's not 'the something you didn't know' - It's knowing that you didn't know the something you didn't know and now knowing that you "now know", so you'll know now for the future."

... Ah Facebook ...the dumping ground of so much undiscerned, second-hand cr*p.

It's The Pits, Man

Classic Excuse of the week, heard over the phone this morning.
Overheard person saying "sorry, Jeff can't attend the computer training course today... He's got B.O. - but he should be in tomorrow though, so no problem"

Short-lived Freedom?

What we can expect, if Scotland leaves the U.K.

How It Really Happened

Little Red Riding Hood: 
"My, what a big nose and funny teeth you have, Grandma"

Grandma:
"Don't be so ******* rude!"

Rituals & Trauma, via CNN

Here's The Fun Boy Three, to sing an anthem to John Kerry;
who seems to be about to get his little war after all.
He can then go back to Lodge 322, for his pat on the back.

Volume Doesn't Give Authority

Gaudy Ministries are available to visit your church.
Jimmy Headache & George Migraine can shout with the best of them,
even though they always have a microphone.

I.D.

If it wasn't for the song... I would have forgotten

Antidote For The Walking Dead

(Original item was removed... just trying to be responsible)

Psalm 2 King James Version (KJV)

Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thingThe kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against his anointed, saying,
Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us.

He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh: the Lord shall have them in derision.
Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure.
Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion.

I will declare the decree: the Lord hath said unto me, Thou art my Son; this day have I begotten thee.
Ask of me, and I shall give thee the heathen for thine inheritance, and the uttermost parts of the earth for thy possession.

Thou shalt break them with a rod of iron; thou shalt dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel.
Be wise now therefore, O ye kings: be instructed, ye judges of the earth.

Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.
Kiss the Son, lest he be angry, and ye perish from the way, when his wrath is kindled but a little. Blessed are all they that put their trust in him.

Literal

Why doesn't the Superdry Store sell umbrellas or dehumidifiers?

FrICTION

Coming Soon...

VATICAN 3

starring 
Sylvester Stallone as Pope Francis 
& 
Johnny Depp as Reverend Gianfranco Ghirlanda

(hopefully straight to DVD)

I See You

Home From Home

We are, for the time being, a time being

GAZA photos

GAZA :

Then & Now Photos

To The End

At the 1968 Mexico Olympics Marathon event, one of the runners, John Stephen Akhwari of Tanzania, finds himself trapped in the middle of some other runners several miles into the race. Unable to see well, he falls and hurts his leg horribly. He watches, anguished, as the other racers continue. John Stephen Akhwari will not win the marathon on this day. He has trained for years to come to Mexico City only to fail, 19km into the race…or has he?

The 42km race was won by Mamo Wolde, an Ethiopian.
Over an hour has passes by, it's getting dark, the last of the crowd are leaving the stadium. Suddenly, the stadium gate is opened up, to the sounds of police sirens. Then a lone runner stumbles into the stadium, for his last lap. It is John Stephen Akhwari.

He hobbles, painfully on his bandaged leg, in great pain with every step. He knew 3hrs before he could not win the race, but he continued all the same. Finally, after 3hours and 25 minutes, he crosses the finish line and collapses.

"Why", someone asked him, "didn't you stop after injuring yourself?" After all, there was no way he could win the race. John's response was "My country did not send me to Mexico City to start the race, they sent me to FINISH THE RACE."

Perseverance is a powerful weapon. With God's strength... you can!


2 Timothy 4:7
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

Revelation 2:10
"Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life."

Meanwhile at the "latest-thing conference"

"Right, everyone... CHARGE !!!"

"O.K. How Much?"

Mercy...

For the families who've fled to Mount Sinjar, Iraq:

“…for the dark places of the earth are full of the haunts of cruelty. 
Oh, do not let the oppressed return ashamed!
Let the poor and needy praise Your name.
Arise, O God, plead Your own cause…”
(Psalm 74:20-22)

Prefer, Each Other

Grow together... not apart

Pulling The Wool Over Your Eyes

When "wolves in sheep's clothing" smile in your direction,
do not take it as a compliment!

Nope Recurring

Look, just what part of "Nope, Nope, Nope", do you not understand?

Where's Wally?

Mosh-ercise, get fit the hard way

Thinking Inside The Box

Are you "Going Around the Bend" or are you now "Turning a Corner" - the choice is yours...
(It's an electric oven, by the way)

Having a Señor Moment

A U.F.O. was spotted on the Mexican/U.S.A. Border today...

...closer examination revealed it was a family from Guadalajara trying to get into the USA, underneath a massive sombrero.

A Million Paths, That Are Never Going To Happen

The fearful person said: "Sorry, can't stop to talk to you... I've got to go, I'm late for a rehearsal in my head"

Bus

Caught the non-stop bus, to Birmingham...

they won't let me off!!!?
I'm posting this from Whitley Bay at the moment...

The Sting

Deliver Us From Evil

Amazon is seeking US permission to test Prime Air delivery drones.
Online retailer says in letter to FAA it has made 'advancements towards development of highly automated aerial vehicles'. The use of delivery drones in far away places could bring a new era in, for example, the third world.

One potential customer from North Kenya, thinks delivery drones could be of great use.
"We are investigating the potential to use of such delivery drones to meet our needs also" said a Mr. Abdula "Mad Bomber" Jihad, today.*



*(nb this is topical satire only)

The First 'Heart Transplant'

Close Down

The gospel according to Nintendo...

Disco Pilot Light

I met a person in the street, the other day, who claimed to be a "Non-Stop Disco Dancer"

I asked him "Why are you not disco dancing then?"

He replied "It's my day off"

A Taste of Honey

Animal Liberation are hailing the escape of a Guinea Pig called Betty, today.
Betty disguised herself and a research scientist, stole a car and drove out of the secret testing laboratory last week. Unfortunately, as soon as Betty was enjoying life on the outside world, she was eaten by a fox.

Tracy Emin vs. Persil

Tracey Emin 'hopes' her most famous artwork, an unmade bed, will end up in a museum after it is sold at auction.

"My Bed" (1998), which features stained sheets, cigarette packets, and soiled clothing, was due to be sold at Christie's next Tuesday. It was expected to fetch between £800,000 and £1.2 million.

Vandals, however, have broken in and destroyed the art piece - please see photo below.

Tracey is said to be devastated.

A Poke in the Third Eye

I was talking to a new-age guru the other day about "mind over matter".

I shared how I had once thought in my mind, about having a lovely cup of tea... and do you know... I was absolutely amazed when I got up, put the kettle on and made one. Wow!!! Isn't the power and potential, of the human brain, amazing?

He looked dumbfounded and walked away, shaking his head... I guess, not many can handle the truth!

Banksy

Apparently the street artist Banksy is so fed up with greedy people lifting his work off of walls and selling it on at auction, he's now taking the step of creating work and then immediately removing it himself. He then plans to sell on his work.

"If they're going to nick my free art, I'm going to nick their plaster rendering. I might as well earn something from my work, a?. Plus it cuts out the middle man" he explained.

Keep an eye out around Bristol this summer for some of his latest work.

UPDATE: News Article Here

Time Travellers

Queen's Landing

"I say Philip, it's just like the toilet seat in Windsor."

Pieces

"YES ...WE WON!"  - said a politician.

New 'Herbie' Sequel Planned

Hollywood has announced a sequel to the 'Herbie' franchise.

It's to be called "Herbie & Lindsey Lohan, Go Bananas"
... (so a documentary then)

Gullible Is, As Gullible Does

So sorry, but Forrest Gump made it all up!

Momma used to say, 
'Lies Are Like A Box of Chocolates, 
you never know which one you're gonna get'

Doing Life

The More You Stare... The Funnier It Gets

Nom-puters

"It's asking if you will accept cookies?"

"ummm"