Tuesday, 14 May 2013

'Clownism' on the rise in the UK - (UPDATED)

UK Police crack down on clowns: Further to recent Government recommendations, police are now free to arrest anyone dressed as a clown, without a good reason. Special background checks are now being made. Also an "on the spot" test to see if alleged clowns are genuinely funny instead of petrifying young kids, is now in force.


Police are stopping any cars that look suspiciously like their doors or wheels are about to fall off.
Clowns are also banned from Homebase DIY stores. A spokesperson said "In our experience, Clowns and timber planks are a health and safety hazard."

Mr Jollyplops, a clown of over 30 years, said yesterday "This is blatant 'Clownism'. I'm constantly asked for I.D. when buying custard pies from Greggs the Bakers."

We wait to see, if these policies, improve variety acts in the U.K. There is talk in parliament now, of extending the measures to the people who paint themselves silver or gold and stand in high-streets as "living statues".

We will keep you updated...

UPDATE:
Since speaking out yesterday, Mr Jollyplops is now in hospital. Witnesses say, he was sent a large beautifully wrapped box, tied with a ribbon bow. After saying in a loud voice "Oh, I wonder what this could be?" he opened the lid of the box, thereupon being hit in the face with a large, spring-loaded, boxing glove. They also say that, at the time, a loud "boinggggg" sound was heard.

The assault was blamed on rival French Clowns, who's motto is "If laughter is the best medicine, try some of your own"

Police have asked any witnesses, to contact Detective Karl Lager. Detective Lager has a lot of experience in these matters, as he once founded and ran the "Karl Lager Ringpull Circus" in Belarus.

No comments:

Post a Comment