The Stalking Dead

Do you know these people?

No?
They're some of the people you, nonchalantly, added as "Friends" on Facebook and they've hired a coach and are all coming to see you.

Not feeling so social now, a?

The Proverbial

A Wise Man Once Said... Nothing

When There's A Spiritual Vacuum

Queen Dyson grants you three questions only...

The Devil's Advocate

Was having a discussion the other day and was trying to play the 'Devil's Advocate' -
then I thought... "Naaa, guilty as hell, stuff him!"

Smart Wigs

Back in April I made up and posted this, as a joke about THE iWIG.

I now read on the BBC NEWS WEBSITE HERE, that Sony are filing a patent for this crazy idea? (Maybe they've figured out how to pick up brainwaves and use them to command electronic devices, whilst having a new hair-do. If not... royalties please, for another fantastic idea that'll probably get nicked) UPDATE JULY 2014 - Yep, as usual LINK

Dear Sony,
any chance of a job in your development department?... I've also got a design idea for a "smart" false beard and detachable moustache. 

I scrapped the idea for smart-underwear, though. "Project Smartiepants" is on hold, after a public test-run saw the subject being arrested for indecency. He was carted off to Bristol police station, protesting that he was "only answering an email"

Oh well, the boundaries of genius and madness are a "no man's land".

I might reinvent Sony's Walkman. It ultimately, irritated so many fellow passengers on public transport over the years, by being "only just audible" to them; you know the hiss of the music and the tick-tick of the drums; I thought, "why not go the whole hog"!!! So I'm designing the Sony 'Personal Karaoke System'. That should be popular on the morning commuter train. You heard it here first folks... in 6 months I might be whinging again that "they've stolen that idea now!"

"I can't do anything with my hair"

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

Monkey Simpson, the Lazy Little Layabout

"Hey Simps, how's it going?"

"Ahh, bored. Was thinking of going down the ice rink, but cos I'm a monkey, they probably won't let me in. So... dunno really."

Ryland Seyz...

Rylan says: "I feel I'm a very "Spiritual" person and all that, Right?... cuz I've seen the following films... 'Ghostbusters' & 'The Matrix Trilogy'; and I'm not joking, right!... But that's not all, right, I've got a signed annual by Oprah Winfrey and I met Robert Powell once, at London Zoo... so don't ever say I'm not "Spiritual" right!"

Hanks

Never seen in the same room together... coincidence?

Didn't We Just Leave This Party?

Back from Munich 1938 Geneva 2013

Dr Who Spoiler Alert

Dr Who turns out to be a big fat poof from Cardiff... oh, sorry, that's Torchwood.

Are You Bored?

Here's a great idea... bring makers of Yogurt and Tea bags to account, by writing to them about their "Fruits of The Forest" products. Ask them the following question:

Dear Sirs, 

please could you let me know which actual forest, the fruits are from, 
all the best,

...your name...

I've 10 firms (and counting) who have NOT replied so far. Just what are they hiding?

Casual Fridays in Gotham

Pig Pen-Pal

Betty Bacon wants to be your friend on Facebook.
She's a big fan of, you guessed it, "One Direction" and likes Harry, the best.

Get Off My Land

I dunno... you leave the bungalow for a few minutes and this happens...

Terrible Twos

It's unnerving when you visit someone's house and their kids just STARE at you. But it's even worse when they're dressed up as scary clowns as well!

British Coffee... yeah, I know!

When Coffee Tastes This Good...

Some People...

 "Oh, I saw a rainbow today... it was in black and white" or "Yeah, I saw a light at the end of the tunnel... it was an oncoming train"...

- Oh CHEER UP

(It's not you, by the way)

c Rap

Eninimenmen or ....whatever... here is the bitter, venomous, sorry "lyrical genius of a generation" - hilarious

X-FILES Case 1309b SOLVED:

1932 Nazca, Peru. 
Dr Pablo Sanchez confirms his mate Eddie got bored at work excavating gravel and decided to freak out "future archeologists and UFO nutters", by using his work's JCB to carve a picture of a "Space Monkey" in the desert.

The Stuff Of Nightmares

The 80's - if you can remember it... you WERE there!

Famous Last Words No.9

Amateur wrestler Dangerous Bertie McQuern at Longleat Safari Park:
"Oi Steve, Hold my beer and watch this"

Spec

A "Half-Truth", is a poor tool to work with.

Crying Wolf

Some situations are really not emergencies.

Don't Smoke

Marlborough Man 20 years on...

Still wanna be him?

Chilly Sauce

Dirty Looks, Friday night in the queue of a Japanese Manga Kebab shop...
This won't end well.

DN7

The Transfagarasen Road, through the Carpathian Mountains in Romania.
For once, I must agree with Jeremy Clarkson... it IS "the best road in the world"!!!

36 miles of this... amazing place

Sovereignty

"Dawkins! here's the "missing link" you're looking for"

To Be Used For Peaceful Purposes?

Useful Questions John Kerry should be asking...

No1: "ok, how many Nuclear POWER STATIONS have you built then?"

The World Won't Listen.

"Democracy" in Action

I remember a few years ago in England there was, nationally, a pair of rival bookstores... Dillons Books and Waterstones. I used to go into one and see a couple of books I wanted, but then check the prices of the store next door. One of the books next door was cheaper. "Great" I thought, I got a deal... glad I checked. It turned out later, that Dillons and Waterstones were owned by the same people! Here I was thinking I had a choice... but in reality, different sides of the same coin. It was a contrived "choice", that was provided to the public. It was an illusion of "choice".

In more important matters, say democracy.... please, let candidates be for real - a true opposition, that will spark accountability and healthy debate. Otherwise this, coupled with austerity, will allow apathy will arise in the people (if not already); this could then allow extremist ideas and personalities, that promise to "Take it all away" in to power. (Maybe that's the plan? - gulp)
Ironically, that would be still a result of the Democratic process (albeit short term/short lived).

If we don't have a REAL choice, it ultimately makes a farce of promoting 'democracy' around the world.

So, Who Chooses the "Choices" we think we make? ...at the moment, we're still allowed to ask that!

This Way Please

The Vinyl Frontier

"Shout going out to the "red-shirt away team posse", take care out there, lads"

Muppet Issues

Cookie Monster's lesser known older brother, "Dunk-a-Rich Tea Biscuit-Monster" often felt sad, as many times he wanted biscuits, they went all soggy and fell to the bottom of his mug of tea.

For Those With Eyes To See

"Insincerity is a dish that is best served... lukewarm"
- Old Cling-on Proverb -

Stake Holder

Six Hundred & Fifty One... SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY ONE POSTS!!!  ah ah ah ah ah ah aaaah.

Nostalgia

This time last week… we were saying, “next week we’ll be saying 'this time last week, we were saying...'”

ADSL Filtered

An engineer from a major Computer Security Watchdog, has highlighted a growing new risk to UK smokers. Dr Derek Mavis Stewpot III, believes that most popular brands of Electronic Cigarettes, are now being hacked and "smoked" before customers get a chance to. "It's a frightening trend, we're considering releasing a "patch" to compensate for any loss to consumers."

Other problems with the new form of smoking are:
1) low-drag when an internet connection is slow 
2) electronic smoke affecting other electronic devices. (A condition known as E-coughing) There are plans for special E-smoking shelters, located offline.

The Devil Is In The Detail

The Wizard of Oz
Transported to surreal landscape;
A young girl kills the first woman she meets;
She believes the advice of a witch;
She walks in a dead witches shoes, that should've gone to a sister,
(there's apparently, no probate in the merry old land of Oz);
She then teams up with three complete strangers;
She and her group, Pass out after inhaling "Poppies"?;
a dose of "snow" brings them up to speed again;
They agree to steal someone's property (a witches broom);
She then kills again;
They then finds that the "godlike - father figure" was a "fraud";
She finds her OWN way home.

Some say, 'That's just "innocent" entertainment, surely?' - "Oh, lighten up Dave".

Of course, the story was written by L. Frank Baum, a friend and colleague, of Theosophical Occultist Madame Blavatsky, so we shouldn't be surprised. 

Beware of darkness and occult allegory, wrapped up in childlike imagery.

Do Not Follow The Yellow Brick Road

Without Exception

Love your neighbours...      ...even if they give you the creeps

Fatman & Blobin

David Bowie once sang "We can be heroes... just for one day"
erm...?

LIFEBOAT

True Blood

Communion in Sighisoara, during missionary trip to Transylvania, Romania.

Back Seat Drivers

Some people just want to sit and watch the world burn (Top left)
Have nothing to do with them... your life would be just another form of entertainment to their selfish day.

Regain Your Spirit of Adventure

Bored?
Go on... build a secret base out of chair cushions!