Union Boss Tricky Snoscumber and members, are currently picketing outside the Wonka's Chocolate Factory gates.
Oompa loompa's are very unhappy about new owner, Charlie Bucket's recent changes to the company. The final straw is that, this year, many workers are to be laid-off, after new automated systems are installed. The only statement from the Bucket management is "The factory is a dangerous place! I personally witnessed a number of accidents on my first ever tour of the place. Wonka was totally oblivious to the many health and safety issues here."
However, rumour has it that CEO Bucket holds suspicions about the Oompa Loompa's personal hygiene. Secret recordings reveal him saying "All those creepy mini-men, working near the chocolate waterfall and chocolate river all day... they're hardly going to go out and down the corridor for a p*** are they?"
Tricky Snoscumber interjected "The official line is that Mr Wonka "Gave" the factory to this Bucket kid, as part of some competition? Yeah, right ! The workforce think that's ********!!! One minute he and his Grandpa are having a basic tour of the factory, the next there's an aggressive takeover - a blackmail scam probably."
The animosity to the Bucket family increased, when the grandparents moved their big bed on to the main factory floor. "They just sit there in bed, staring all day - It really freaks us all out. They refuse to get up and help in any way." Mr Snoscumber said.
Grandpa Joe's influence in the factory is a large cause of the unrest. A worker, who didn't want to be identified, believes him to be guilty of Oompa Loombarism! He said "I once overheard him screeching at a fellow worker, saying we all had 'really bad fake tans' and our hair reminded him of his 'late wife's blue-rinse, gone wrong'! He thinks he's got a golden ticket, to say what he likes. Bring back Mr Wonka, I say." If that wasn't enough, Grandpa Joe was seen attending this years Bilderberger Conference for the second year running.
The union has written to Charlie Bucket, declaring that "all the Oompa Loompas smell a rat!"
We put that to Mr Bucket, who replied "surely there must be something better they could smell, than that?"
"Well, That's typical" Mr Snoscumber said. He then returned to the picket line, to sing a song and do a little synchronised dance, with the others....
...the dispute goes on.
Oompa loompa's are very unhappy about new owner, Charlie Bucket's recent changes to the company. The final straw is that, this year, many workers are to be laid-off, after new automated systems are installed. The only statement from the Bucket management is "The factory is a dangerous place! I personally witnessed a number of accidents on my first ever tour of the place. Wonka was totally oblivious to the many health and safety issues here."
Not so sweet these days!
What really happened?
The animosity to the Bucket family increased, when the grandparents moved their big bed on to the main factory floor. "They just sit there in bed, staring all day - It really freaks us all out. They refuse to get up and help in any way." Mr Snoscumber said.
Grandpa Joe's influence in the factory is a large cause of the unrest. A worker, who didn't want to be identified, believes him to be guilty of Oompa Loombarism! He said "I once overheard him screeching at a fellow worker, saying we all had 'really bad fake tans' and our hair reminded him of his 'late wife's blue-rinse, gone wrong'! He thinks he's got a golden ticket, to say what he likes. Bring back Mr Wonka, I say." If that wasn't enough, Grandpa Joe was seen attending this years Bilderberger Conference for the second year running.
The union has written to Charlie Bucket, declaring that "all the Oompa Loompas smell a rat!"
We put that to Mr Bucket, who replied "surely there must be something better they could smell, than that?"
"Well, That's typical" Mr Snoscumber said. He then returned to the picket line, to sing a song and do a little synchronised dance, with the others....
...the dispute goes on.
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